Thor was made in Taiwan by a 13 year old boy on a hot afternoon on the week before Christmas.
He was big; a strong toy of a viking, Thor, was a destroyer of men. And he was the best viking of all of hundreds made that day. When his crate arrived in California's major distribution centers, all the other vikings had black eyes and smashed toes. He was king of all he surveyed.
And sure enough, he was the first one picked off the shelf, given to a freckle faced red headed boy with a mean look on his face. This was Thor's kind of boy.
Together, they terrified the neighbors and conqured mother's rose garden. Victory was theirs. But one day, on the boy's birthday, he got a bb gun and forgot all about Thor. Then one particularly dark day, the pit bull got ahold of Thor.
As Boomer tore into his mighty torso he thought what a sad state he was. And North Dakota sucked too. Splayed out on the kithen floor, his stuffing pulled from his stomach, he felt the cold despair and ruin fall over him. Alone and hopeless he resigned to end his wretched existence.
Into the fireplace he flung himself, but not far enough it seemed, for he only made it halfway, burning his arms and the back of his mighty head. Mother came in, shouting at the boy that he could have burned the house down. Tossed into the basement, burned and broken, he lay for many months.
He knew no happiness or relief. And when mother threw this once mighty warrior to the bowels of the home, he thought about life and death and reincarnation. And he lay in the basement, in despair and a pile of rafes until an angel glowing in pink moved over him. For years he had wished and wished, He had cried our for help. and finally he grew quiet and gave up. But now, he was in the arms of God, speaking to the infinisly large person. God spoke. You can be reborn and begin a new life. There will be pain and death but you will become new again. What do you want, Tor? Tor thought and quicly agreed. White hot light pierced Tors body and he ceased to be.
Tor awoke at the Tulsa City art fair at 12:30 in the afternoon. To the left of him was a little dog that looked very funny. His long ears were fluffy but the rest of him was hairless. His stitching looked weird. It was as if someobe had turned him inside out. To the right, triplet penquins with the same syle as if they had been turned inside out. Then he looked down at himself. He was purple, inside out and funny looking too. What had he agreed to? What had God done to him?
The bright sun was suddenly clouded by a giant. A girl with hair like the sun reached down and picked up the purple bundle of muscles and polyester. Thor was frightened and waited for his inevitable mocking. But instead, words of love and praise came from the girl. His neighbors were picked up as well, hugged and put into a wicker basket next to him. Thor, Slukey the dog, and Eep, Opp, and Ork the penguins were going home with the girl with hair like the sun.
And the girl with hair like the sun was right. They were best of friends. They wrestled alligators, drank prickly pear juice and lived and danced in the sunroom in the girls home.
And they lived happily ever after.
The End.
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