Sunday, July 18, 2010

Out on a limb, on fire, over a shark pool

I am not a child.

I'm not sure if I've divulged my age... I don't intend to but if you have figured it out, you know I'm old enough to drink, rent a car, do almost all things except maybe apply for my AARP card.

I have been taking care of myself for many years and now I find myself in a unique and upsetting situation. I'm selling my home. I've run out of viable options, my liquid funds are depleted and I will not borrow from friends or family. It's time to cut my loses. I've started packing up my belongings, selling most of it, donating some. My entire life will be in storage in 30 days.

I've been taking care of myself for a while and now I'm without a home and faced with daunting options... move in with my friends, my boyfriend, or my parents. I've regressed quite a bit and I don't like it.

It's hard to get up some mornings. It's even harder to fall asleep. I cry so easily and my sense of humor has gone down the tubes. I'm not fun to be with anymore.

I had this wonderful life, independent and free. I did as I wanted, shared my happiness with the world. Was my hubris at fault? Was I just too happy that the gods had to reign down over me? My world is crumbling ruins and the rest of the world laughs and moves on without me.

This must bring something better. This must be a trial before something greater and more interesting. So I'll sleep at Nico's villa for a few nights. Then a few nights with the Mad Scientist. Then maybe a few with my parents. But sooner or later, something wonderful is going to happen.

It has to.