Thursday, September 29, 2011

What's passing for romance

The Graduate is not romantic.

It makes me a little crazy that people think it is. People like the American Film Institute. Sorry Dustin Hoffman but you are a stalker and a bit of a bastard. Ok, maybe not Dustin but his character was. Well, maybe Dustin Hoffman is a bastard but I don’t really think so.  This is not a good example on how to win a girl.  Sure, the movie is at it's base about feelings of being lost, loneliness and perhaps, misguided love but so is Fatal Attraction. Both great movies but great romances? Nope.

The Way We Were? I think not. Ill fitted couple who fight constantly because they are obviously not right for one another. He wants the opposite kind of girl that she is and she insufferable, seemingly wanting nothing but to argue. I'm obviously not a fan of this one so I should just shut my hole.

My Fair Lady? Lovely story with fun music (if you’re into that kind of thing) but romantic? Rex Harrison’s character treats her like dirt on his feet, calls her names, dismisses her as if she were a dog. Sure he might come to his senses in the end but if I were Eliza I would run for the hills.

From Here to Eternity? (The one where the couple rolls around in the sand as the waves crash onto them) Burt Lancaster is quiet, brooding and a bit surly. Deborah Kerr is married and bored. She cheats a lot but ‘really loves’ him, unlike all the others. But her husband is leaving and where he goes, she must follow and they are never to meet again. What?

I’m not even going to touch Pretty Woman. Ug.

I’m not saying that none of these are romantic at all, I’m just saying that they are not good examples of a healthy relationships/romances. I know I've touched on this before but while picking up some library books I overheard some girls chatting about some new chic flick that came out and it ruffled my feathers that such shlock could be considered romance.

Ok you picky bitch, you’re saying, give me a good example! I’ll let “Girls with Slingshots” answer that one. Click it, you know you want to...

When I think of one, I’ll let you know.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Buster Keaton - One hot piece of ass

His name was Buster and he was amazing.

Actually, his name was Joseph. And statistically, 85% of you have no idea who he is. (I'm totally making that up, but you get the idea.) I think more people are familiar with Charlie Chaplin and many people compare the two but they are very different performers. Both important film pioneers, actors, directors but Keaton is sorely under appreciated.

He was born into show business, actually traveling with Houdini during the vaudeville years. When he was a small child, the family shtick was tossing little Buster into the scenery, offstage and even into the audience. The kid was indestructible. They had a decent run of things until Joe Keaton, his father, managed to break up the troupe (ie the family) with his horrible drinking.

He easily transitioned into film, he started pairing with Fatty Arbuckle (more on him some other post) in two reel shorts and began to branch off on his own. He did his own stunts, even breaking his neck once when a water tank full of water dumped onto him. He didn't realize it until later. The man was indestructible.

Unfortunately, like many silent film stars, this does not end well. Bankruptcy, divorce and, shudder, Beach Blanket Bingo. No joke. The studios screwed him over and over again and continuously was overlooked by those who should have been giving him wheel barrels full of money to make movies. He did continue to work but always below what he thought he should be doing. In Limelight, one of Chaplin's last films, he woefully looks at Chaplin and says "I never thought we'd come to this." That pretty much sums it up. Buster Keaton died of lung cancer in 1965. He wasn't totally indestructible afterall.

So why tell you this sad story? You have to know this man, if not for his amazing skills as a director, actor, stuntman, or the films he has left behind, then for the fact that he was one hell of a physical specimen. This was brought to my attention by Bangable Dudes in History, which I totally recommend you all check out. (there are bangable dames too, fellas.) Historical hotness is the best kind of hotness.

So get your ass on netflix and watch 7 chances or The Navigator on instant and enjoy his comic genius and adorableness.

Check out more info on this incredible performer and dead sexy man here:

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Let's get drunk and craft, bitches!

You're not supposed to drink alone.

You're also not supposed to get naked and cook bacon either but that never stopped me. The grease burns are worth it.

The Mad Scientist was away for the week at a conference so I found myself alone, bored and stuck with prime time gems like CSI: Sheboygan and My Dad's A Stupid S*#! or whatever. What's a girl to do?

Well, she slaps in Tangled, drinks an entire bottle of wine while singing along to the movie and crafts Star Wars characters out of perler beads.

Best night ever.