Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Mandatory Sex Party

I'm not all that funny.

Other people are much better at that than I am. I'm just here in my world, writing about whatever the hell I want. Sometimes it's humorous, other times, not so much.

Allie is fucking funny. Not just normal, "haha I'm going to forward this to my great aunt who enjoys a clever post with pictures of cats" kind of funny. FUCKING funny.

I fully encourage you to stop reading this dreck and go to right now and read her posts until you laugh so hard you pee yourself, like I've been doing all this week. I'd be mad at her for making me pee in public constantly but she is just too funny. I can't stay mad.

I literally got shushed by a little old lady in the library today because the latest post threw me into a giggle fit that I could not escape. I promptly flipped her off and lit her computer on fire. Just kidding Nanna, I would never...

And because she's makes me pee, I'm joining the grassroots movement of the mandatory sex party. Oh, you don't know what that is? Let me help you.

"A party where once you walk in the door, you are obligated to have sex. I would think that these parties often disguise themselves as costume parties or birthday parties or baby showers but THEN as soon as they entice people in the door, they are all "guess what this actually is? It's a mandatory sex party, bitch!"
You're welcome.
PS-Sorry for being so late to join the fun Allie.
PSS - There are no good pictures to put in this post. I am not a porno site and googling anything with the word sex in it for good pictures doesn't yield anything worth posting. So here's a picture of a chipmunk spider.
I'm cute and scary!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

That's the trouble with love...

...sometimes pets don't last long enough and sometimes people last too long...

Friday, September 3, 2010

Perhaps I'll run away and join the circus...

I could be a trapeze artist. Or not.
If you read this blog, you know I have love for my fellow circus freaks. But it's not so much about the circus I'm focusing on, but the running away part.

When I feel down and I can't think of any way to make myself snap out of it, I daydream about running away. I want to run off to a small southern town where no body knows me. Some place quiet and slow where I can pretend I'm someone else. I could be Aubry Little of Arkansas. My whole family died in a horrible cow-related accident and I came to their faire town to begin again. Then after winning the local beauty pagent, establishinga dog and cat reserve program and whan all he men had fallen in love with me, I would pack up and leave in teh middle of the night. I would leave a note saying that I was sad to go but I had to leave and I would come back some day.

And maybe I would.