Mourning with benadryl

I'm covered in hives.

I'm not sure why, but I guess it's because of the funeral.

Last week, we got a terrible call at 8:30 in the morning. My husband's best friend, a young man with a young son, a wonderful friend and an amazing story teller, had died.

We are still in shock, a week later. We will continue to be for quite some time. As we will continue to grieve and cry and do all things we do when we lose someone we love, I feel my sweet Mad Scientist struggling. I try to be there but I'm not sure if I'm helping.

This has brought me screaming back, five years ago to my brother's funeral, where I was covered in hives and giving my eulogy, shaking hands and consoling friends and talking with people I didn't know about funny stories that I wasn't there for, the whole while a little voice, selfish and angry, whispering to me how all you want to do is tell everyone to shut up and slink away to sleep for 100 years.

I'm not a wise person and I don't have any answers but I am living proof that life goes on and I have found a way to be. I guess that's the only thing I have to say on this subject in life with certainty.

It's not much. But a little benadryl and a nap might help too.

Da nuh... da nuh...

No one loves the killer in the shadows. Except me.

In honor of the upcoming Shark Week, I wanted to share my thoughts on my favorite under-the-sea creature. (Screw you adorable seals!)

Not only are sharks fascinating, complex and varied but they are truly beautiful. There is something elegant about a creature that hasn't had to evolve since the time of the Megalodon, which existed roughly sometimes between 28 to 1.5 million years ago. (Please don't email me evolution deniers. I'm not going to read it cause I don't have to and honestly don't want to...Sorry, life isn't fair... Just ask the Dodo.) Some dispute that the Great White is related to the Megalodon and it's more closely related to Mako. I choose to believe the former because it makes for a better story. Take that, science!

I love the idea of a huge (60feet long), toothy (7 inch long), hungry (munching on whales) shark mostly because it's terrifying beyond anything I actively have a reference to...

What draws me to this creature is that it's not just a fascinating study in biology and evolution but it's also the pure fear i feel when I see footage and pictures of all types, from the sweet looking Woobegong to the Great White beast. I've only seen one in real life once, exploring a sunken ship in the Caribbean. I was frightened but at the same time, I found myself swimming straight for it as it swam away. (Because I'm an idiot...)

So curl up with some seal steaks, and see what Discovery has to offer this year (since last year wasn't so spectacular, in my opinion.)

And hey, if it sucks, I'm watching Jaws.

A Post for the Old at Heart

I was born an old lady.

At least that's what I've been told my whole life. I like my music soft, my clothes vintage and my nights to end early. Like 8:30.

The 1940's have always held a special place in my heart. Not only is some kind of WW2 book always on my nightstand but I'm usually writing about it (the book I'm working on) and adding to my already substantial wardrobe with snoods, pencil skirts, and peter pan blouses.  Heck, just check out some of my previous posts about history and death and the 70th anniversary of the invasion of Paris. It's always on my mind.

Dancing to The Andrew Sisters

So when I heard about the 1940's ball, my brain almost exploded. In a good way. A gathering of people who all love the era of 'tomorrow we may die' and 'buy war bonds'? Sign my up! Armed with my trusted photog/best friend, we made our way to the airfield for the 4th annual WWII Era Ball in beautiful Boulder, Colorado!

 Most everyone was in full 40's spirit in period hair, dresses, hats and flowers in their hair. (With the one exception of the Denver Roller Girls; their booty shorts were seriously distracting TMS.) I was lucky enough to have my hair done by the stylists at a local Aveda salon and I can attest to many a 'victory curl' among the local ladies. (Myself included!)

This sailor was dancing with all the pretty girls! 

Bob Hope, The Andrew Sisters, Sinatra (aka Frankie Baby), ariel dancers inside the hanger and the random cigar girl mingled throughout made things more interesting. But what made the whole evening for me, was the veterens. Moving slowly with canes, chests full of metal, shaking a tail on the dance floor. Nothing brought more joy to my heart than a sailor (see above) who was dancing his heart out, the young ladies racing to keep up.

The Hot Tomatoes, a local 9 piece band, was wonderful They played all the standards (Miller, Baise, Goodman, Ellington, etc) that immediately took me back to that idealized time we were all there to experience. I also have to mention the food; the range was nice although not always my cup of tea. Moroccan food by Tangier Moroccan was lovely and flavorful (The pickled lemons were very much my favorite) to American classics like barbecue and for those who aren't as adventurous, there was Abo's pizza by the slice. (My very food-picky friend did appreciate this and I was happy for him.)

Don't you just love her?

As I observed the crowd, I began to see young men, obviously in current service, in period uniform. It reminded me, like so many others I'm sure, of simpler times. Before "baby killer" was hurled about and veterans ignored by their government and neighbors, young men in service were seen as heroic and handsome and nothing else. No other politics or policies entered into the mind but for a young man with short hair and crisp uniform. I know it's all probably romanticized, especially inside my little brain, but it's a lovely thought to think.

Taking pictures!

I will say this: this event is still young. There is going to be some growning pains and room to improve. The lines were long. Very long. (I spoke with a lovely couple after waiting 30 minutes for my beer-can chicken who said that they wanted to get another drink but was not willing to stand in the hour long line again. We met up at a bar downtown Boulder instead.) Also the event has out grown itself in popularity. (According to our host, 2400 people attended this year.)

This is wonderful and a bit claustrophobic at the same time. There were few chairs to sit and enjoy my drink, yet there was an amazing amount of people watching! I have faith that in a few years, thing will run with more fluidity than Fred Astaire. Regardless of some the issues, I really did enjoy myself. Everyone seemed to be having a great time.

The range in age was one of my favorite things about the whole event. Starting from the young, those in their teens, through 20's, 30's, up all the way to true WWII veterans, no doubt in their late 80's/early 90's. And the passion from all groups were just as adament, not only in their dress but attitude, smiling, taking pictures in front of period planes and jeeps, eating talking but most of all, dancing. It was all a wonder to behold, in a small airport, in a small town in the middle of Colorado. 

Lastly, my favorite pic; it's she beautiful?!

An amazing time was had and I can't wait to go back to the 40's next year.

All of these AMAZING photos were taken by my incredibly talented friend, Nicky Loughry. Check out the rest of her photos and other works here on her official website.

She Sure Plays a Mean Pinball...

I've got balls on the brain.

Wait. That came out wrong. I meant pinballs.

I recently watched "Special When Lit" a wonderful documenty about the world of pinball. It is to pinball what "Trekkies" was to Star Trek. Wonderfully sweet, humorous and fascinating. Not only the player and collectors but the history and the mechanics of it all.

As I watched, I was transfixed, literally. Watching the lights flashing, the silver ball controlled not only by gravity on the tilted board but the flippers, when it bounces off the bumpers, into the spinners, into the slingshots and hitting the drop target only to land right in between the flippers, just out of reach. Damnit!! No! Why oh why?! ...I want to play again!

I was in Portland last week, in a bar in a part of the city covered in shaded trees and hipsters. And in said bar was, lo and behold, the Indiana Jones pinball machine. I pumped in two bucks worth of quarters and played to my hearts content. This was more than just an enjoyment of the precursor to video games. Something had to be done.

Fatefully, The Rocky Mountain Pinball Showdown just happened to be coming to town the following weekend. So Nina and I packed our things and we were there in two shakes of lambs tail. Again, totally fascinating.

Barely a chick to be found, the average age was around 35-45. T-shirts and sneakers everywhere. (And just between you and me, compared to the conventions I usually frequent, the hygiene was much improved.)

There were pinball games from the early years, through the golden years (70's) and even the cutting edge, Tron and Avatar games. Those kitschy early games were my favorite, including what might be the best name for a pinball machine, "Balls-A-Poppin".

And for the tournaments, they had set up these wonderful camera systems so that a crowd could not only see the board on the giant flat screen but also watch the intensity of the players face via picture-in-picture. (and intense it got...)

Look! I found a girl!

Trade and buy parts, play games and chat with other enthusiasts. Or just take notes and shoot pictures like we did. (ok, we did play a little...)

And I know I'll never think of pinball the same again. Or walk past an arcade without checking to see if they have a Adams Family pinball machine. Or Jurassic Park, my sentimental favorite.

Let your pinball love fly free.

PS- Ever see the documentary "The King of Kong"? Then you're with me when I say... Ho-ly HELL! That is going to a whole lot of weird in one room and I just can't wait! See you all there!

"I wish to remain an eternal enigma to myself and to others"

I like this guy already.

This morning I find myself in Germany, both within my own head and surprisingly also in reality. So why not write about one of my favorite Germans? Why not indeed.

Anyone else think he's kinda hot?

King Ludwig II (or if you're not into the whole brevity thing, Ludwig Otto Friedrich Wilhelm.) was king for 22 years, and remains a beloved icon in Germany. (Don't call him the Mad King in front of the locals. They don't like that much.) He funded art, architecture and music and was a true lover of great and beautiful things. One more reason to dig this guy.

As with many royal children, he had a very structured young life with a regimented schedule of lessons and exercise. He was never close to his mother or father, relying on his eccentric grandfather for adult companionship. He was very shy and sensitive and the absence of regular comfort and love made him more so.

I imagine he was quite lonely at times and thus his imagination seemed to be his way to cope or escape his sometimes dreary childhood. He loved fantastical plays, operas and poetry. He would later develop a friendship with Richard Wagner because of his love of his particular brand of music.

He became King at 18 when his father died suddenly. He started not with policy changes or new laws but with adding to Bavarian culture with a new theater, commissioned operas from Wagner (Ludwig and Wagner = BFF) and other composers and introduced Shakespeare, Moliere and Mozart.

The young and handsome Ludwig was engaged to a cousin for a short time but after much postponing, the engagement was broken off. Scholars debate whether he was gay. He kept a diary that was lost sometime during the second world war but there were some copies that seem to share his struggle with keeping with his catholic faith and his desires.

Other than his cultural contributions to Bavaria, most people would probably know Ludwig for his castles. This was a man who loved his castles, so much so he nearly bankrupt himself funding his dream projects. This is probably the one most people know best.

When you wish upon a star...

He was an odd guy but I don't think he was crazy. He would often have private performances of ballets and operas with either just himself or one other guest. Mostly because, according to Ludwig himself, he didn't like people staring at him because he couldn't concentrate on the play. He was never one for formal events where there would be large crowds. He would often go on night time sleigh rides (with antique sleigh of course) because he fancied himself "The Moon King", sleeping during the day and living at night. Much of the "crazy" king stigma comes from what happen near the end of his life.

Death site memorial for Ludwig

His would have been a pretty interesting life all together but Ludwig wasn't going to go out simply, sleeping cozy in his bed or even dying in "glorious battle". No, this strange guy went out in an equally strange way. 1886, Ludwig was 40 and had pretty much receded into a quiet and solitary life. He was spending every penny he (and anyone he could borrow money from) had on his building projects and the Bavarian ministers had finally had enough. They gathered "evidence" from servants, and had him declared bat-shit-crazy. (I don't think that's the official declaration but it's more fun so there ya go.) The very next day Ludwig was found face down in Lake Starnberb. It was ruled a suicide. Although he had been prone to suicidal thoughts, things didn't really add up. There was no water in Ludwig's lungs and no one believed he had drowned anyway because he had been a strong swimmer since he was a child. One of the psychologist who declared him nutty coo-coo,  Dr. Gudden was bludgeoned/strangled and found dead near Ludwig. Some researchers theorize Ludwig was shot, others say he had a heart attack while fleeing. Perhaps he killed Gudden then died of shock. Honestly, no one knows what happened to him.

I have a lot in common with this "mad king" and I love him for so many reasons. Mostly though, it is because he is a mystery, not only because of how he died but how he lived as well. My favorite quote from Ludwig (and the title to the a little too long article) is "I wish to remain an eternal enigma to myself and to others."

Indeed.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8b/Neuschwanstein_Fernblick_pano2.jpg
panoramic view from Neuschwanstein
http://www.oocities.org/gedojudea/ludwig/diary.html
Some letters to/from our dear Lugwig