Wednesday, October 30, 2013

All Hallow's Eve Revolution

A revolution is needed.

Last year I was at a Halloween party. Naughty by Nature was on stage and I had fallen into a puddle of spilled beer (I hope) to avoid a fist fight between Jack Sparrow and Hulk Hogan that Winnie the Pooh was trying to break up. (Later that night, he asked me if I 'partied' and offered me some coke. I was like, "No thanks Pooh Bear.") And as insane and fun as that night was, I have to say, I miss the old Halloween.

I propose this, fair minded children-at-heart, responsible adults! We revolt! Enough of this thing they call Halloween! Down with naked girls dressed as bunnies and racist costumes and drunken frat boys and loud parties with more alcohol poisoning than tricks and treats! I say enough!

Perhaps I'm being a little dramatic. Imagine that.

I just love me some Halloween so much. I love making a creative costume. I love getting together with my friends and sharing our fun creations and yummy treats. I love cookies shaped like bats and bite sized candies. I love those old fashioned scares that have nothing to do with chainsaws or sexy teens or entrails. I guess really what I'm trying to say is I miss the Halloween from when I was a kid.

I remember when it used to be a spooky time. Not scary, not sexy, spooky! No threats of real harm or nightmares but the idea knowing that the spirits were out, whispering from the trees. The wind blew and the leaves crunched under your feet and you knew the jealous witches flew above, greedy trolls below and you were safe as long as you could make it to the next house. (And even then you could shout "Go go Power Rangers!" and that would save you from the mummy creeping around in the bushes.)

My Halloween is "Something Wicked This Way Comes" where there is a fate worse than death at the midnight carnival. It's Edgar Allen Poe, Edward Gorey, Icabod Crane (if he can just make it to the bridge!) and Shelley's (and Whale's) Frankenstein. It's not Freddy or Jason, ice pick wielding mutants and gore/porn. Not for me, at least.

Or maybe I'm just getting old. 

Happy Halloween my ghoulish pals! Enjoy some classic Halloween this year!

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