Not literally of course. But we've all been there, right? The screaming child 20 rows ahead, the kid with the soiled diaper 20 rows behind (up wind, somehow) and the talkative one right across the row.
The same phrase, over and over and over again, in ever increasing volume, "Peas Thomas. Peas Thomas. PEAS THOMAS!" (Parents will know he means that if he doesn't get to watch Thomas the Tank Engine on Dad's Ipad right now that a meltdown will occur shortly that will deafen half the cabin.) "Aden! Aden!" (Again.) "Pane! Pane!" (Plane.) Jews! Jews! (Juice. Yeah, that one took me off guard for a minute.) But my favorite is this kid's rendition of my favorite ballad, "NO!". Even happy babies will squeal at such a pitch that it makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
On these travel days when I've had 3 hours sleep, much like a mom of a young child, I consider motherhood and I'm not sure I'm cut out for it. Children are needy, selfish and moody and I'm already all those things. I think one person with those traits in the household is enough. I don't want to give up sleep or share my dinner. I don't want clean up after anyone else or stop doing the things that make me happy so I can care for a helpless little meatloaf. I don't want to lose my body, for which I have worked really hard.
But my own wonderful, selfless mother says that it all changes when you see their faces for the first time. It changes you. You feel a bond and a love like nothing you have ever felt before and all you want to do is do for them. I wouldn't know though. The kids across the aisle has said the word, "Aden!" seventeen times before his mom finally relented and sang the 'animal song' for the 5th time. SEVENTEEN. Would I sing the 'animal song' five times?
So for now, perhaps I should just get a puppy. I like dogs better than most people anyhow.
Happy Mother's Day!