By the way...

This is what my January looked like.
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Not your grandma's tea

I'm sorry.

My beautiful and talented friend Nina has come down with a sore throat and cough and it's my fault. I thought I was being careful enough when I was sick but not careful enough...

So to make it up to my gorgeous girl I am posting (then making) this recipe for her. Great for sore throats or just a cold winter's day. By the way, this one's for the adults only.

Cup of your fav tea (stay away from caffeinated if it's close to bedtime)
Honey (change it up with some flavored honey if you want)
Whiskey (whatever your preference; I'm a Jack girl myself...)
Lemon Slices

1. Make yourself or have your friend (me) make you some tea and fill your favorite mug 2/3 of the way full.
2. Stir in a teaspoon of honey, or more if you like it sweeter.
3. Toss in a shot of whiskey, or more if you like it boozier. (What? It's a word.)
4. Floats some lemons and you have yourself some yummy, boozy goodness.

Enjoy my beauties and thanks to forkable.blogspot.com for the recipe. It kept Nina from flinging used tissues at me.

Oh Coffee!

"aka My Crack"

Ode to Coffee
by Celluloid Darling

Oh Coffee!
You brighten my day and light up my life.
When you're in my cup
It's as if there is no war, no pain, no strife!


Oh Coffee!
You have the most beautiful color and smell
Without your caffeine and sugar
Life would be a sleepy and dreary hell

Oh Coffee!
From the shop I hear your call
I thank you for everything
For without you I would KILL THEM ALL!!!

Thank you.
*snap snap snap snap*

Pin me up

Soooo, I've been thinking about how I look as of late.

The older I get, the worse it gets.

It's nature. Things lose their battle against gravity. The pounds start to pack on... I was thinking to myself, in 20 years I won't even recognize myself. My own mother tells me all the time. "I look in the mirror and think, 'who is that person?'"

So I have decided I need to get some pictures taken, to show my kids one day. "Look! Mommy used to be hot!" And the fact that since The Chief left, I have been feeling kind of down about myself. I think having some vain moments can help one's self esteem. Couldn't hurt, right?

I have found a photo studio that does the coolest pinup photography. I have always loved that look: beautiful, natural looking girls (ie no sticks) in provocative (ie not naked) outfits looking adorable, sexy and gorgeous. I want that for myself. I can look like Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca, wearing that fabulous form fitting suit or a polka dotted dress and wide brimmed hat like Norma Jean.

It's expensive, it makes me a little nervous, but I think it will be good for me. And when I'm all wrinkly and dried up, I can look at my picture and think, DAMN! I was a hot dish back in the day.

Then I can drive around my house in my Rascal screaming about pudding and waiting for my Social Security check to come it! Only kidding... we all know that people my age will NEVER see any Social Security money.

Shmuper Shmol

If I have to watch one more commercial where a hot chick gets her clothes ripped off by magic, I'm gonna go on a gun-toting, crotch-firing rampage.

The latest Super Bowl, I mean Shmuper Shmol , commercial has a guy eating a Dorito, I mean Shmorito, and a girl's clothes flying off.

Now in my experience, the more a guy eats Shmoritos, the more I want to keep my clothes on. Stinky breath, orange dusty fingers and the accumulation of transfat, calories and orange tongue is not hot.

And I am so tired of looking at teeny tiny ghosts of women who men can't seem to get enough of... It's because they're not even there. I want a man who loves a real woman with real breast, real hips, who eats carbs without shame and yes, wants desert.

If he exists, I'll find him. And if not, then keep the TV on. I'm gonna be on the 9 o'clock news, surrounded by dozens of downed men in the fetal position.