Tuesday, August 10, 2010


This is me.

I'm not an idealized version of myself or a plastic doll. I'm not faking it to manipulate you to get what I want. It's not a game.

I am an intelligent, beautiful woman. I thank G-d for my many blessing. I have a wonderful home, great family, the best friends. I also forget to brush my teeth some nights and I don't wash my hair everyday. I laugh at dick jokes. I swear to make a sailor blush. Sometimes, I buy a moonpie and eat it while I sit on the hood of my car. I have muffin top.

I love the theater. Opera, musical, avaunt garde. I frequent many gallery openings. I've had season tickets to the symphony, donated to my city's arts council and attended my share of charity events. I also go to the state fair and eat corn dogs, ride the roller coasters until I'm dizzy. I like to watch cartoons and eat cereal in my pajamas, the ones with flamingos and beach balls. And I think Totino's pizza is the best drunken snack food ever.

My library is full of classics, new and old. I have 1st editions, volumed sets. I also have Vanity Fair photo books, true crime books and beach reads. I read the New York Times and fashion blogs. I love comics.

I can talk your ear off about WW2 history, the American circus, art, film and almost everything about animals. I can also tell you about James Dean's last meal before he crashed his Porche Spyder or who 'Brangelina' is. I can make you a light and crispy croquette. Or a white trash casserole. I'd be happy with either one.

I spent money at the nicest places in the world: Hermes, The Wynn, haute coutor in Paris and ridiculous extravagance all over. I also buy toilet paper at Target.

I do my yoga almost everyday and watch what I eat. I love my healthy body. But sometimes I smoke and drink hard liquor, stay out too late.

It's called contradiction. Enigma. It's not logical and sensible. I don't care.

I'm well read, educated and thoughtful. And sometimes the things that come out of my mouth are plain stupid. I get drunk and say things I shouldn't. I mispronounce words and sometimes I stutter. I've been rude, crude and embarrassing at times. I get overwhelmed, depressed and angry sometimes. I make mistakes. Because I'm human and I'm not perfect.

I'm not apologizing and I'm not afraid.

It's just who I am. I love me. And I love you too, with all your quarks and flaws. I won't pick and choose which ones I want to keep and which ones to toss. You can keep them all and I'll love you no matter what.

We are perfect.

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