I finally relax in your arms, trust the warm and safe feelings that I so rarely feel these days. It's been a rough week. I'm actually surprised that you are open and soft and inviting. It's easy to feel loved or at least liked, in that moment.
But I have been a fool or made a fool of.
I must remember this. I am always on the verge of being made a fool and I am not falling for it again. Not again.
I am a steel cage.Words may pass through me but no one can breach the barrier.
I am invisible. I make no impressions and cast no shadow.
I am smoke. I can't make a ripple in a pond; i glide along the surface.
I am nothing and no one and I can't be touched without being burned.
And when I'm in that space... you know the one. The space that must be entered from time to time. Space that is required to be visited. I will be there but not there. I float away. I am with the birds. I am among the flowers. I am surrounded by the pink and green, down the river with the otters, far far away.
And I am alone.
But alone is better than a fool.