As I'm sure that you can tell, I've been pretty unhappy. It's a struggle to write or be creative at all. Sometime, everyday things are hard too. So I've been trying really hard to fix all of that in the last 6 months. I've been working on my positive attitude and trying to be grateful for everyday. I'm on a healthy and reasonable diet to help my body work and feel better. And I've been exercising. I'm at the gym 5-6 days a week for 2 hours each visit. I don't really enjoy it but I know it's good for me and that it could make me feel better. That said, I still can't sleep and find myself sad a lot.
|I may be sad but I WILL have arms like these...|
To snap myself out of those daily little clouds, I've found a temporary fix. A little sunshine. Yeah, you're gonna laugh. I know it's kinda hokey and you can shake your fist at me while you shout about corporate evil. I don't care. Disneyland helps.
I've found myself daydreaming about sunny California, to a place where everything is a little bit more colorful and the music is happy. People are glad to see me. There are new adventures, fun food and roller coasters! Some place I can be like a kid again; I can be myself. The daydream does help, even if it's just for a minute.
And it's not just Disneyland, it's Disney in general. I can have a bad day and come home and I know that Lilo and Stitch will be there for me. Mickey will make me laugh. Aladdin, Capt. Jack and Flyn Rider will be wooing me. Mulan will sing about wanting people to know who she really is and not pretending to be. Belle will read her favorite books and find her happily ever after. It makes everything a little easier to take.
There is a lot of things you can do to be happy. They say having goals is important. So I've set a goal for myself. I'm going to run.
I hate running. It hurts. My knees, hips, and mostly my chest. The years of dance destroyed my feet and my knees/hips also pay the price. The asthma is the worst, aggravated by a bout of walking pneumonia I got at age 20 that went undiagnosed (with no health insurance) for 3 months, scarred my lungs. Breathing can be challenging. So all those things are not conducive to running outside on hard pavement.
But I'm going to Disneyland next year to run in a race. Again, get ready to laugh. A 5K. Yeah, it's a little kid race. Yeah, my great-grandma could do this race easy... and she's been dead for 30 years. But this is big for me. It's something I thought I'd never do. Honestly, I never really wanted to do it. But it's nice to have a goal and if that goal gets you to Disneyland AND you get to dress up like a princess, why not?
So I'll keep you guys in the loop here. Any suggestions on what character I should dress up as? I was thinking Ariel but I think hopping around in that shiny green tail would be too tough. Suggestions?