As punishment, my face is falling off

So I met someone.

We went out a couple of times and I didn't think he even liked me. Yet he kept calling me. And I kept saying yes. By the third date, had yet to even touch me, let alone kissed me.

Snog-rific!

By the middle of our delicious lamb chops, peppers and mushroom pasta(he cooked), sitting in his surprisingly lovely apartment, I was so confused. We have great conversations, barely any awkward silences, and he is very sweet and extra attentive and we do have a lot in common. I even gave him a cute nickname: The Mad Scientist. But I was still all up in my head about things.

Maybe this is too soon to get back into dating? Is this guy the kind of guy I should be dating? Does he show any signs of poor or dangerous behavior? Does he meet the requirement that I set up for myself? Do I even still believe that love is real? If I don't, why am I even here? Then I remember that I'm in this man's house and I'm on a date, focus!

As we got into a lively conversation about film, and I blabbered on and on about technique and movies that reminded me of other movies that reminded me of other movies, he started to rub my neck. (Innocent enough, since I had been complaining about it because of yet another accident I had been involved in...) And then he finally kissed me. A lot.

I got home at about 8 in the morning and after a quick shower I caught myself in the mirror. The snogging gods have punished with me stubble rash. I didn't realize that he was that stubbly! It's been about two days now and my nose, cheek, and all the skin around my lips are bright red and scaly. I looks like I'm been in a cherry pie eating contest. Like I'd been frenching Beelzebub. I'm like a sexy red lizard... or a not so sexy blogger. Whichever.

Like my face, except hotter. Meow.

I have been up and down the internet, digging through medical books and esthetician text books and can't find anything.  I was hoping to post, "What to do when you fall asleep on a belt sander" but sadly, I can be of no help. All I can do is say, good luck fellow snoggers. And my best advice? Ask him to shave.

Oh, and I will be seeing him again this week.

Sans the sandpaper.