Tuesday, March 31, 2009

As punishment, my face is falling off

So I met someone.

We went out a couple of times and I didn't think he even liked me. Yet he kept calling me. And I kept saying yes. By the third date, had yet to even touch me, let alone kissed me.
By the middle of our delicious lamb chops, peppers and mushroom pasta(he cooked), sitting in his surprisingly lovely apartment, I was so confused. We have great conversations, barely any awkward silences, and he is very sweet and extra attentive and we do have a lot in common. I even gave him a cute nickname: The Mad Scientist. But I was still all up in my head about things.

Maybe this is too soon to get back into dating? Is this guy the kind of guy I should be dating? Does he show any signs of poor or dangerous behavior? Does he meet the requirement that I set up for myself? Do I even still believe that love is real? If I don't, why am I even here? Then I remember that I'm in this man's house and I'm on a date, focus!

As we got into a lively conversation about film, and I blabbered on and on about technique and movies that reminded me of other movies that reminded me of other movies, he started to rub my neck. (Innocent enough, since I had been complaining about it because of yet another accident I had been involved in...) And then he finally kissed me. A lot.

I got home at about 8 in the morning and after a quick shower I caught myself in the mirror. The snogging gods have punished with me stubble rash. I didn't realize that he was that stubbly! It's been about two days now and my nose, cheek, and all the skin around my lips are bright red and scaly. I looks like I'm been in a cherry pie eating contest. Like I'd been frenching Beelzebub. I'm like a sexy red lizard... or a not so sexy blogger. Whichever.

Like my face, except hotter. Meow.
I have been up and down the internet, digging through medical books and esthetician text books and can't find anything.  I was hoping to post, "What to do when you fall asleep on a belt sander" but sadly, I can be of no help. All I can do is say, good luck fellow snoggers. And my best advice? Ask him to shave.

Oh, and I will be seeing him again this week.

Sans the sandpaper.

No comments: