Friday, October 1, 2010

Harry Potter is my best friend

As of late, I have had much trouble sleeping; the homelessness and uncertain future does that to you.

I lay awake for hours, mind racing, heart racing... pretty much every part of me racing around the room but my legs. (And even they twitch a little) So I sleep quite poorly, get up and disparage about my situation, then fall into a bed, where ever that may be, and stare at the ceiling some more. After about a week, things start to get weird.

I burst into tears for seemingly no reason. The shadows move. Lights are too bright, noises too loud and I sit in the middle of all of it and pray for a zombie apocalypse. And I'm a real bitch. Who wouldn't be after no sleep for a week? No one, that's who.

So last weekend, after a big fight with TMS, I find myself feeling like shit about myself and my situation, running on fumes, no sleep for 3 days and trying to fall asleep while fucking Seinfeld plays on the tv. Every time someone started doing that ever so charming 'whining-escalating-into-yelling' thing, I though my head was going to pop off my body.

I excused myself and tiptoed downstairs to have myself a bit of a cry. I sat on the floor and ate crackers and cried about the sorry state of me. If I had been an art piece, my title could have been, "Plathetic Mess, in C Minor". ("C Minor" lends it some credibility, don't you think?)

The sleep timer finally killed the tv and I ventured upstairs again, full of crackers and shame. I stared at the spots on the ceiling, thought about ice cream flavors I wanted to invent, trying not to collapse yet again into weepy sadness. That's when I roll over and spot my ipod on the bedside table.

I hope he's legal in the picture...
I put on book 4, curled up, and forgot the rest of the world. I escaped into a world of purpose, fantasy and safety. As I listened to the brilliant Jim Dale, I drifted off.  Finally.

 So because he's a roll model for kids, he's entertaining escapism and he finally got me to sleep, I declare Harry Potter is my best friend.

Besides, who doesn't want a friend who looks like this? No one, that's who. 

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