I wish that I could be different and not want the things that are so cliche. So lame. So expected. But I'm sorry. I am the way I am. And I want to get married via lovely wedding.
I want a beautiful, meaningful wedding. Twenty of our closest friends and family join us for a very short secular ceremony. Then we have a tasteful and thoughtful cocktail reception. It's styled and lit. It has those little details people appreciate. Our guest can look around at our beautiful ceremony space and think how lovely it all is. I want to feel beautiful. My dress will be special and make me feel special for just one day. It will be stress-free enough that I can feel nothing but excited and happy to be marrying my dream fella. I'll just sit in my dress, drink a glass of champagne, and smile without worry about details, relatives or how much in debt we are for this one day. I get to be the prettiest girl in the room for one day in my whole life; the one day it's supposed to be about me.
I wish I would be ok with just running down to the court house. I wish we could just run off to europe and get married. I wish I didn't think those options were tacky and sad. (and that my mother would stab me if I did that...) I wish I didn't want this thing I've envisioned in my head since I was little. I wish I didn't care about a dress, a moment, a photo taken at a special moment.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a fucking girl. Fuck.
I was at a lower point in my life. No job, career shot, no home, depressed and even my sex drive was suffering. But even though I was a pathetic case if ever there was one, The Mad Scientist asked me to join him in Atlanta for a little get away. We would drive down to Savannah and enjoy a long weekend togetther.
I was nervous about being in Savannah again. I had gone there with my family as a child many times for vacation and I was afraid it would bring back those happy/sad memories of growing up with my brother. (There's nothing like crying in public to make me want to throw myself in a river...) I was doing surprisingly well. The weather was perfect, the leaves were just starting to change and I was loving being so close to the ocean.
Savannah is a beautiful town. Established in 1733, it was originally a progressive, multicultural hub, until the British fixed that by making it a colony and stripping rights from many of it's citizens. (the jews, spanish, etc) During the Civil War, instead of burning Savannah to the ground like he did Atlanta, Gen. Sherman sent President Lincoln a telegram, 'giving' him Savannah as a Christmas present. The town features 22 historic squares, which doesn't sound too exciting but I must insist you visit as many as you can. They are shaded, beautiful areas, usually quiet and if you find yourself alone, surrounded by looming trees, perhaps a statue or fountain, historic french-american architechture just beyond, you feel like you've stepped back in time. It was beautiful and I was feeling rather peaceful amoung the ghost and history.
After a quick bite on our first day, we went for a walk along the Savannah River. We were watching the people and cargo ships go by, when TMS decided to do something drastic.
He asked me if I would marry him.
At the one of the lower points in my life, playing the part of a pretty big loser, he still wanted me for his... it's a pretty amazing thing. That, and the fact that he's the most wonderful man I've ever known, I love him more than ice cream, movies, dance and disneyland combined (and then some), it was a no brainer. I said yes.
Mine looks different but you get the picture
So I'm engaged! We're getting married sometime next fall and then a continued life of bliss.
I'll try not to turn this blog into a giant wedding blog but I will talk about it. I don't apologize. Just shut up and enjoy the ride.
She sat on her couch, me zooming in and out of her kitchen checking the roast she was trying to burn, while she jumped from youtube video to youtube video. I knew it would be a long night when she turned on the Wii, booted up the web browser and typed in "Will you marry me?".
She spent half the evening crying and yelling, "Isn't that so romantic?" She watched the surprising and inventive ways all these men asked their girlfriends to marry them. I wanted to scream back "NO! Can we please watch Frankenstein now?"
So as a backlash to my evening of sappy and annoying love, here is a list of some "romantic" relationships.
Burt and Linda Pugach
These two are a piece of work. Burt and Linda went out but when she found out he was married with a child, she broke it off. Like any rational human being, Burt hired thugs to throw lye in her face, scarring and blinding her. He continued to write her from jail and 14 years later he was release and they got married. Psycho, both of them. Thank the busy bugs and furry creatures they found each other. I know I wouldn't want either of them interested in anyone I cared about.
Lana Turner and Johnny Stompanato
After Lana's 4th marriage she met Johnny at a nightclub. But once she found that he was involved in LA's seedy underworld she tried to leave. Apparently his charm and good looks were too much for her to resist. (that, and his giant shlong and his propensity to kick the crap out of her.) When she was filming Another Time, Another Place with Sean Connery, it's said Johnny became insanely jealous at the idea that Lana and Sean were having an affair (they weren't) and brought a gun to the set. Now Sean, being a badass muthafucka that he is, landed a "I'll mess you up homie."single punch BAM! bitch goes down and he takes the gun from him. (Seriously though, if your gonna be bitch slapped in front of your lady, wouldn't you want it to be Sean Connery?) I digress. On the evening of April 4, 1958 Lana and Johnny were having another knock down drag out fight... so Lana's daughter freaks out, grabs a kitchen knife and gives him a new hole. I bet Joan Crawford would have loved to have her as a daughter instead of that whiny Christina.
Dan and Betty Broderick
He was an amazing asshole and she was probably a little crazy to begin with but in the end, he drove her to be one crazy hoe. It's the typical starter wife story. She puts him through medical and law school by working while she bore him 4 children and ran the house. After he graduated and got a nice big job (cha ching) in San Diego, she went on to be June Cleaver mom wife and caretaker while he banged the ex-stuartess secretary on his mahogany desk. Nastiness ensued. She flips out when he dumps her and the kids in a rental house so he and the receptionist can play house in Betty's home. Yep. And Betty didn't help her situation. Dan sold the house without Betty's permission...so she ran her car into the front of the house. She was awarded alimony of 16,000 a month which seems like a lot, until you realize he's making 300,000 a month. (so much for 50/50; Remind me not to get divorced from a lawyer.) So to get back, she smeared pie on their bed. He'd drop the kids off without notice. She would leave threatening messages on their machine; she said things that would make a sailor blush. In the end, the multi millionaire was ordered to pay his wife of 20 years less than 30,000. And then she went full on loony tunes. Got the gun. Drove to the newlyweds. BANG BANG. She'll be eligible for parole in 2011.
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