Monday, December 15, 2008

"Yarrr" from the high seas

Yo hoe Yo hoe, a pirate's life for me.

So this is my first cruise. I'm still not sure about it. I'm not really the kind of girl who likes to hang with other tourists. I try really hard to hide the fact that I am one. Everyone has been really nice, but I feel like the whole thing is kind of a sham...

First thing, cruises are a cash cow. They have a captive audience who can only buy from them. If you need a razor, pack of smokes, nail polish, you have to buy from them. Then they tack on extra charges for just about everything. You want ANY kind of alcohol? 8 bucks for a vodka tonic. 10 for a decent martini. You want to eat somewhere besides the cafeteria, some place with cloth napkins and silverware? Extra 20 bucks a head. Want to use the internet to write your blog? 2 bucks a MINUTE! The nickel and dime-ing is really getting on my nerves. I already paid a ton to get a nice room and what I thought was all inclusive... but no.

Second, shore excursions are a no-no. Everyone has the same damn vacation! Get off the boat, hail a cab and get as far away as possible until you HAVE to get back. Now that said, I gotta say that there are some things that just must be done to say you have done them. They probably won't be those magically life changing moments that sometimes happens when you travel but you have to go. Go see the pyramids with the other thousand tourists. Go walk up and down the Great Wall. Take a picture or two, then move on.

There are rules everywhere here. Don't bring booze on the boat or you get a finger wagged in your face. This restaurant is closed until evening unless you are a premier uber silver class. No shorts in the dining room.(I don't even own a pair of shorts, but I like to know that I could wear them if I wanted...) Is this a vacation or my great grandma Mildred's house?

Don't get me wrong though; it has many great points. It really does. But that will have to wait until my next post... I have already racked up a $20 internet usage bill with a surcharge for being snarky. Gotta save my money so I can afford a frakin drink. Cheers maytee.
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